Why I Became a Chef: My interpretation of what food means
It can take weeks, months, or even years to perfect a recipe. Every step along the way acting as a step in a recovery program. Throwing stress, anxiety, and defeat at you from every direction until you learn to harness it and put that extra layer into your food. Like a therapy, learning how to rise above the failures and how to deal with the emotional factors instead of folding to the pressure.
We have all heard the cliché “food is art” which is so overused and pretentious and so undeniably and annoyingly true. There is something indescribable about bringing together and layering flavors one on top of the other, stacking and stacking until we reach a tipping point. Tasting everything along the way so that nothing overpowers another ingredient. Striving for perfection in every way. From the protein like chicken or steak, all the way down the crispy herbs we use to garnish.
The fire and flames, knives chopping, pans clanging, constant commotion, and yelling. Broken apart, nothing about this would seem appealing; even to me. Heat makes me uncomfortable, quiet is calming, and yelling tends to not achieve much. There is just something that happens when it all comes together. Almost like a symphony; multiple different tones and instruments working to create something beautiful.
Powering through our “12-step” program, until we arrive at what I like to describe as Armageddon. As described in Revelations 16:16–18. Battling our demons and bringing them together, pouring our souls onto the plate, and the massive quake rumbling through the kitchen and symbolically leading to judgment day.
“Hands!”
Silence falls throughout the kitchen as we watch our creation be picked up and trotted away. So many emotions flowing through, waiting for feedback that may not come. Peeking through into the dining room to watch the first bite, second bite, third bite and so on. Trying to imagine what they are thinking. Knowing they are not the only ones; we must move on. Knowing its perfect, but reaching for some sort of sign to give us some satisfaction we are emotionally incapable of giving ourselves.
So why do I do this? For that feeling of satisfaction I get from making someone else happy. Having someone want to trade their hard-earned money to eat food I create is where I find my true happiness. Is that healthy? Absolutely not. Having my entire mental state rest in the hands of hundreds of people is a roller-coaster. The highs make you want to float through the clouds with a parachute, but the lows are rock bottom, making you wish you didn’t open the chute at all.
Describing my young career as a journey would be an understatement. Learning not only new techniques, but learning about myself along this journey has brought me so far, but taking it to the next level is now the goal. Reflecting and adapting, learning and growing. Where will it lead? Who knows, but it will be fun to find out.
Have questions about food or kitchen life? Feel free to reach out in the comments!
